This remix though
cloudy with a chance of me not getting laid this summer
holy shit i’ve let go and i can’t help but smile at the times we’ve had and accept that it’s over. our paths may never cross again, and i’m okay with that. my heart doesn’t hurt anymore. i’m not sad anymore. i don’t drink, smoke or cut anymore.
Malkin wanted us to say hi for him to all of you so here you go.
So I wonder, if you put enough rubber bands around someone’s head…
THIS WEBSITE IS MADE UP OF PSYCHOPATHS AND DRUGGIES I SWEAR
this is what your getting yahoo.
this is what your getting.
WHO WANTS TO BE BESTEST FRIENDS IN THE ENTIRE WORLD???!
- WATCH HOCKEY
- UNDERSTAND THE WOES OF BEING A FAN OF HOCKEY
- WILL SUPPORT ME AND MY PROBLEMS
- WILL BE A SARCASTIC BITCH
- KNOWS GOOD PUNS
I’m done with cigarettes and weed. Today is my last day. Alcohol’s days are numbered. My cuts have finally stopped bleeding at night. I’m sleeping a bit easier at night.
I find myself thinking about you less and less every day. You are the wound on my heart. I’m on the mend and my friends are the bandage to keep it from reopening.
I have a few more things to take care of. I have some people to remove from my life. I have to defend my heart for now to try to keep it from shattering again.
I’m finally getting my shit together and I couldn’t be any more optimistic about it. My life has been full of positive changes.
But the best part of all was that kiss in front of her house. I didn’t intend for it to happen. But it did. And my world became a little easier to live in ever since. That moment when lips touch and feelings explode inside your brain, when the tips of your fingers tingle and your heart jumps a beat. Its exhilarating. I have to be careful, I mustn’t get carried away. But I know I can trust her. She’s beautiful and makes me laugh and feel nervous and act like a goofball. I’m always laughing when I’m with her. I really hope she feels the same way.
Things are looking up.
I’m a terrible human being and I have no excuse for the downward spiral my life is taking. I feel like shit about what I’ve been doing to myself. Abusing it with drugs and alcohol and smoking just to stay awake. I drink almost six cups of coffee a day. My eyes literally burn from fatigue. I miss you every day, yeah but by now its just so pointless to think about you. You probably don’t think about me. And you’re happier. I’m glad for you. I’m on my way up but I have to stop being sad and focus on my life. And things will get better with time.
At one point in my life you were all I lived for. All I thought about was you. But now you’re kind of like a scar now. Something that will never quite heal up right. I’m feeling more and more closure every day.
Things are just easier now. I don’t cry anymore. I’ve saved all your pictures and put all of your notes in a box. I’ll never delete them or throw them away. You may be a memory, but you were one of the most important people in my life and you’ll always hold a special place in my heart and I accept that.
I wish the best for you.
blocked on Facebook and Instagram. i don’t ever have to see your face again. honestly, i don’t want to. i may still be lost and hurt, but at least i’m not being reminded constantly that i wasn’t ever good enough for you. i’m moving on, slowly but surely. i have my friends, i have my family, i have alcohol and cigarettes and various other drugs that help me forget about you for a little while. I still have your number and i’ll always have that line of communication open just in case you need me, i haven’t had the urge to talk to you. i don’t want to, all i’ll feel is misery.
But the worst part of all of this is that because of you, i’m hurting other people that i like, all of which are being so understanding and i feel even worse for being so distant and strange. I’m going back to being introverted emotionally. but, whatever. if it makes me not feel so fucking terrible, then i guess i’ll just do what i do best and shove it to the back of my brain and not think about it.
The hardest part is dealing with the fact that i’ll always love you, no matter if i want to or not. I’ll wish for the good times back, even if i’m happy with someone. I’ll miss you to death, but it’s getting easier every day. What we had is over, and i’m okay with that. i’m okay if you never say a word to me again. which i’m almost positive you won’t.
Most of my endeavors have been successful so far, but having sex with other people doesn’t solve much of anything. i’ve got a couple of dates lined up, I’m feeling more confident and less shitty. I’ve got a new job lined up. a career that i can work on. i’m moving out in november. and i’m feeling like i’m going back to my old self little by little. and i’ll finally get away from this shitty home situation, i’ll be independent. Then, and only then will i be truly happy.
Here’s to moving forward. :)